This post contains explicit information intended only for those 18+.
Speaking of which, this post might make you feel a little uncomfortable. IMO, all new learning experiences should be. For those of you running towards the ‘x’ as quickly as possible I ask that you give this post a shot and, yourself, a chance to discover something new. At the end you might still say, “Naw…not for me.” That is perfectly ok. You might also say, “Hey…I was told wrong. I need to explore this more.” Regardless, please keep all comments clean and respectful, recognizing that some readers may find this awkward and even painful…or this might be someone’s favorite topic. As I say at parties, “We never want to yuck on someone else’s yum.”
Ok so since I slacked yesterday, you are getting two posts from me today! I need to make up for my long absence, right?!
This afternoon I want to introduce you to one of my idols: Dr. Sadie Allison. I mentioned her briefly earlier but want to go more in-depth before reviewing her latest how-to sex book, Tickle my Tush: Mild-to-Wild Analplay Adventures for Everybooty.
You can tell why I like her already, right? We both adore cheesy puns. *sigh*
Anyway Dr. Allison is the author of several how-to sex books including Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands-on Guide to Penis Pleasuring and Ride ‘Em Cowgirl: Sex Position Secrets for Better Bucking. One of my favorite aspects of Dr. Allison’s approach to writing about sex is her lightheartedness with sometimes heavy topics (see my point re: cheesy puns above). She is serious when necessary, such as when discussing sexual safety, but is comfortable enough with the unfortunately-still-taboo topic to laugh at it (and herself). The information contained in each book is presented in such a way that will make you giggle, sometimes with joy and sometimes uncomfortably.
You have to leave your comfort zone to start living, right?
All her books include cartoon-ish illustrations, a chapter on safe sex (woot!), FAQs, and a guide to any terms that may be unknown or made up (e.g. a-spot for anus). I’m a huge fan of the two books mentioned above and will likely review them in the future. For now lets just say that Tickle is the penis bible and Ride ‘Em is the greatest position book ever simply by excluding positions that require you to be double-jointed.
But lets get to the butt of this post…I mean heart. I swear. 😉
Fun fact: thoes are the great dr’s lips you see. In fact, her face is on the cover of every book. Some may find that conceited but hey…she’s an independent publisher with 2million+ books sold so I say she can do what she wants!
Alright…onto the book. For reals this time!
Dr. Allison does an amazing job of de-stigmatizing the booty. While most people immediately think of anal sex when they hear the former word, she shows that there are a ton of fun activities you can enjoy sans penetration. In fact, it takes eight whole chapters to even get to the topic of penetration! Even then she continues to follow the book’s mild-to-wild theme by showing you the five levels of penetration starting with just one knuckle. From there we move onto G-spot and prostate massage (huuuge orgasm triggers for her and him, respectively), toys, and positions. Throughout these chapters, Dr. Allison reminds us that communication is key as is taking it slow and letting the individual being penetrated call all the shots. Anal play isn’t generally something you jump right into as the tissue back there is not as elastic as that of the vagina and therefore needs a bit more conscious training!
So what’s contained in those first 7 chapters? Information about sexual safety, hygiene, anatomy, massage, non-penetrative finger play, and oral play. In that mild-to-wild order. And throughout these Dr. Allison reminds the reader that you need not go one page further. She encourages you to, if only to learn, but does not pressure, another feature I greatly appreciate.
Do I think this book is the penultimate guide to anal play? No. In fact I expect it is a pretty basic introduction for some. However, for those who have never experimented, for sex educators without much personal experience and/or knowledge about this aspect of sexuality, for those couples for which anal play is the primary source of sex…this is a fantastic introduction and absolute must-have addition to your library.
Here’s a short guide to the things I loved…and those I didn’t!
Things I Loved
- The book’s layout (mild-to-wild overall and within each chapter).
- De-stigmatizing anal adventures.
- The plentiful photos.
- The basic info on safety, hygiene, etc. and the fact that it is repeated throughout the book.
- The no-pressure tone of the writing and encouragement to explore at your own pace and within your comfort zone (kind of).
- The emphasis on communication and trust between partners.
Things I Wasn’t Crazy About
I didn’t love the fact that much of her writing ties so closely into societal norms about what relationships and sex should look like.
- The book is written for hetero couples (although she does note that you can interchange any pronouns) with all the pictures featuring a female and male and the conversation about him and her.
- The vilification of hair down. Undoubtedly, for some, hair may be a non-issue or even a total turn-on. I’ve heard or read it all folks…this is my passion and my career! This information could have been presented in a more neutral, “If you wanna groom here’s how and if not that’s cool too!”
- Her definition of gender as being based on one’s genitals. Boo hiss.
Thing I’m on the Fence About
Throughout the book, Dr. Allison uses here own terms (defined early in the book) for anatomical parts. “A-spot” instead of “anus,” “pleasure tunnel” instead of “rectum,” etc. I can see how this would be a good thing for those who aren’t comfortable using anatomically-correct terms. However, part of my goal with my work is to overcome genital shame and a part of that is being able to speak the proper names of our body parts without shame or concern.
Say it with me now…VULVA!
Ok…had to get that out!
All in all…if you have ever wondered about or wanted to know more about analplay, I highly recommend this book. As my way of saying thank you for your support over the past five months, I’m offering all Y/B/L readers 20% off any of Dr. Allison’s award-winning titles. All payments will be processed through PayPal for your security and books range from $15-17 through PP.
I hope you enjoyed this post and would happily chat with you more about the topic of analplay or any sex-related topic me. Use the Contact Form at the top of the page to send in questions, etc. I’m thinking there’s an FAQ post in our future! If you have a super personal question/concern, we can set up a 15-minute one-on-one consultation.
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