I’m happy to report that my tummy troubles are mostly cleaned out. I guess I just felt the need to take spring cleaning to another level!
Ok…the sometimes-witty-sometimes-awful poop jokes will stop now, promise! 😉
All-in-all, I am super proud of myself for stopping to recognize and honor that my body needed a rest. This is a lesson that definitely grew out of my injury as I learned to ask for what I need, even of myself.
Anyway, today I want to talk a bit more about values, something, quite frankly, I don’t think about very often. On my weekly coaching call last night, I mentioned my tummy troubles to Hillary and she basically stopped me right then and there and was like, “WHOA girl…tummy stuff is always emotional.”
HUH?! I thought this was just about the fiber… what the hell is she talking about?
So we worked through it and chatted and went over by close to 30 minutes and it was wonderful and beautiful and she gave me new exercises to put into practice to address these issues and so on. At the end, she asked if there was anything I needed…I brought up balance, something I struggle with in a mental and emotional sense albeit not physically. <–I find it fascinating when there is a discrepancy between my physical and energetic states! And she said one sentence that blew my mind with its simplicity and raw truth: Balance comes from alignment.
It is easy to see how this manifests physically, especially if you’ve ever attempted something like Warrior III. But I didn’t see how it manifested energetically in other areas of our lives. Hillary mentioned something about values but until this morning, I could not grasp the lesson.
I began the day with one of the exercises Hillary asked me to complete: drawing a pie chart of my life. I drew the circle, listed the ten things to put it in and got to work divvying it up. I let my heart guide the pen rather than my hand. At the end I looked down, feeling proud of my work, only to realize that not only was it severely out of balance, I had not made room for everything on my list. Things like future tripping and reading blogs have a huge chunk of my time while family and friends barely have slivers. My Passion biz didn’t even make it on the chart. This both broke my heart and showed me how accurate the chart reflected my current state. As I focused my attention and awareness on this chart and how I could bring it into more balance (dare I say, “fix it”?), the word values rose from my heart. So many lessons that I have heard and read and so many things I’ve been told bubbled to the surface as the lesson became clear.
Our lives are in alignment not when everything is going perfectly, but when we are living in accordance with our deepest values. And so it is true that from this alignment and this alignment only, can we find balance.
I turned inward to examine my values and from this examination I drew a new pie chart, one that put no one person or activity above the other, recognizing and acknowledging the Tantric/Spirit Junkie teaching that we are all one. I grabbed markers and highlighters and colorful pens and let creativity and the Universe flow through me. Encircling the circle are my most important values, things like simplicity, integrity, willingness, love, and peace. I left two areas free, designating them “Miscellaneous” in recognition of the fact that this pie chart is not a static drawing, but rather a living, breathing, changing force.
The new chart looks less like the pie from your family dinner, where everyone chaotically asks for different size pieces, and more like a wheel, a hot pink, functional wheel that has the power and the know-how to keep the bike steady. Surrounded by the things I need and respect the most, this is a wheel that will never let me down. It will keep moving forward, it will hold me up, and it will allow me to find balance.
This is the wheel of my life. I cannot control everything, but I can control my mind and how I react and where I place my energy. I cannot control those or the world around me, but I can make a commitment to living in alignment with these values, knowing that they may change over time as I myself grow and change and learn and continue awakening. This is not a static image–what circle ever is?–but rather one that will flow and grow and shrink and rotate and dance along with the ebbs and flows of my life.
Life is a journey and this is vehicle I’m choosing to travel it on.