Don’t forget to enter Monday’s giveaway! I received my new box and let’s just say there is now even more chocolate. YUM.
Today I’m writing to you from a place of stress + excitement. Just like pain and pleasure, these emotions are two sides of the same coin. Wouldn’t you agree?
You see over the past few weeks I’ve started to re-realize my own greatness. (My Gremlin wants to apologize for coming off as haughty; my Inner Pilot Light wants you to know that it is OK to own your accomplishments).
As some of you may have picked up through here and Facebook, I’ve been going through some dark and stormy places lately. I’ve been feeling listless and lost, down and out, scared and hopeless. You see I realized a couple weeks ago that the path I’m currently on…to create a sex-positive culture within the healthcare field…is whoa huge. I mean…this is my task…I’ve never been more sure of it, but its darn scary to know that I’m embarking on something that hasn’t been done before.
A few weeks ago I totally freaked out…in hindsight I’m realizing it was an upper limit problem. As in…I got spooked by my own greatness, by knowing that this journey I’m embarking on is huge and it could change the lives of the millions of women who are diagnosed with cancer every year. I questioned friendships, I hid away in my apartment (perks of living on the outskirts of the city, no?), and I avoided hanging out with people. This spiraled into all sorts of loneliness and angst…and then I went home for Thanksgiving.
I got grounded and centered just by being around my loved ones. I came back refreshed and more passionate, more certain, more ready. And this week I started being excited again…realizing that I have the potential to help millions of cancer survivors and thrivers live more pleasurable lives…that I can make a lasting and impacting difference through a combination of healing + teaching. I can’t help but smile even as I write this when I think about all the possibility ahead of me.
Yes there will be obstacles…but there will also be triumphs.
I’ve known for some time that I am headed for greatness. Lissa first opened my eyes to this, and I will never forget her telling me how she has created the amazing life she has essentially from nothing. Hillary helped me to see beyond the limits of my imagination, she saw the could will-be’s and the bigger picture. The one where I am leading tele-jams and webinars, doing speaking engagements, and making Passion by Kait something bigger than I ever dreamt of.
And though the growth hasn’t happened at the rate I had hoped, though at times it felt like my business was slipping away from me and it wasn’t worth it, I know that every step I’ve taken, and all those I will take, are moving me in the right direction of my destiny. Because slowly but surely I’m doing those things I want…this past Saturday I had my first presentation (the Gremlin wants you to know its “just” a co-presentation and my co-presenter created most of it but my Inner Pilot Light is shushing him like a good Italian grandma and is already preparing to shout it from the rooftops and make a feast fit for a queen because wouldn’t you know I contributed significantly and it is my presence and my passion and the empowering impression I leave that brought the opportunity to me and that alone is something to sing about). Over the January term I will be designing a sex education curriculum for fifth graders and potentially teaching part of the sex ed module for a local high school.
And all I had to do was be myself…send an e-mail or two…and trust in the Universe. (Ok so that last part isn’t always easy…)
And now all I have to do is keep taking these steps, keep being true to myself, and keep working through the dark & stormy when it comes up. Because undoubtedly it will…and undoubtedly I will get through it to emerge stronger, wiser, and with opportunities abounding.
What great things are going on in your life lately?
Yoga/beauty/this crazy life,