Last week I began to integrate all parts of me, even the one I’m not proud of or excited about.  I felt the puzzle pieces falling into place.  I felt myself opening up and accepting even my demons.  Because my shadows and my light make me who I am.  And the harder I try to keep out the parts I don’t want, the more they want to stick.  The more I tell myself that “this illness isn’t who I am,” the more it controls my life.  The more I try to couch what I do in PC terms, the more fake I sound.  Yet the more I say, “yes this sickness is part of who I am” or “I’m a health educator who focuses on sexual health and I’m looking for jobs in education, communication, and program planning”  the lighter + freer+ less symptomatic I feel and the more opportunities come my way.

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