Balancing Light and Dark

You may have noticed this blog has been somewhat lately with the exception of couponing posts.  Much of whats going on in my life I don’t feel totally comfortable sharing publicly, for a variety of reasons.  So while my journal has been filling up rapidly, I haven’t published much at all. Many times I want to, but I also am starting to see the benefit and necessity of keeping parts of my private life a bit more, well, private.

Anyway, the focus of today’s post is a different kind of struggle.  Those of you who’ve been around for a while know that I love teaching about sex.  Although I don’t talk about it extensively on here, it pops up from time to time because it is as integral a part of my character as couponing and cooking and dancing.  Lately though I’ve noticed resistance. You see when I started doing Passion Parties nearly 4 (!) years ago, it was just a way to earn money.  Then I discovered the sex-positive movement and fell in love, learning everything I could about sex and relationships and orgasms, especially as they relate to women.  My first job furthered my obsession by highlighting the huge unmet need that exists in healthcare when it comes to sexual health and, especially, pleasure.  So I came to Hopkins and…all of a sudden nearly everything I’m learning about sex is negative.  Pregnancy is something you are ‘at risk’ for, just like STIs.  Rape and trafficking are running rampant in my backyard, the military, colleges across the nation, and among close friends.  There’s “no money” in sex ed, either at the community level or within healthcare because it doesn’t provide a profit.  Training is often met with resistance and so on. 

This is the background against which my transformation from the sexpert/sex toy lady into sex educator, speaker, and consultant took place.  Suddenly I find myself wanting to qualify statements about pleasure to recognize that some of my clients undoubtedly have experienced the dark sides of sex.  I feel pangs of guilt here and there that I’ve been so focused on the fun and the pleasure and the passion that I did not acknowledge these other aspects.

In other words, I’m struggling to find the balance between ‘sex is fun and great and healing’ and ‘sex causes so much pain and suffering and destruction.’

Along with all of these mixed emotions is another: incredible gratitude.  Because as more and more of my friends disclose their negative experiences to me, my heart at once breaks and fills up – for their suffering, for my safety (luck?), and for their willingness to share.  Its a beautiful moment when you go that deep with someone.  Trusting another to hold your heart and soul with compassion and without judgment is a huge risk.  You make yourself vulnerable in ways that are equal parts terrifying and gratifying.  But sharing that takes relationships to a whole new level, it lets you see and understand and care in all new ways.

This greater awareness, on a personal and academic level has  changed the way I think, write, and talk about sex.  In some ways its a blessing.  In others it has made my work extremely difficult, paralyzing me at times as I struggle to answer the question: on which side do I want to work? 

Of course this question speaks to something larger: what do I even want to do?  I know my strengths–public speaking/teaching/performing, writing, creating content and curricula.  I know the macro-level movement I want to be a part of–decreasing sex negativity and shame.  I know how I want to feel in my work – present, engaged, and influential.  I’m less confident, however, about how I want to apply those strengths and, of course, the practical side of me worries about the sustainability of such strengths.  Which makes me sad given the number of mentors in my life who coach and teach and present and write… 

I’ve started to wonder if maybe my purpose is to balance the light and dark aspects of sex. I’m still exploring exactly what this means for me.  Rather than be paralyzed while trying to ‘figure it out,’ though, I’ve begun to incorporate both sides into my current work, adding qualifying words to my newsletter (e.g. ‘consensual sex’ instead of just ‘sex’), sharing posts related both sexual pleasure and rape culture, healthy relationships and body shaming on my social media pages, and working with survivors and policy-makers. In the meantime, I know there will be more moments like the one that inspired this post, moments when I stare at a blank screen, angry with the world and wondering how I can talk about orgasms when approximately 30 individuals were assaulted in the hour it took me to write and edit this.

To me, being sex positive isn’t about ignoring all the bad shit that comes along with sex.  Instead, its about really acknowledging all of the negative while also recognizing that sex itself is not bad. In fact, sex can still be beautiful despite the way so many use it as a weapon, a tool for violence, manipulation, and control. We so often assign external ‘goodness’ or ‘badness’ to things that we forget most of them are totally neutral and value can vary greatly with context. The brand of sex positivity I want to promote encompasses all of this and more – a true balancing act.  Here’s to hoping I find my way there sooner rather than later.

Yoga/beauty/life,

Kait xo

 

 

 

 

And you can’t hold me down…

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The past ten days have been transformative.

In many ways, I’ve come full circle, right back to sobbing to Defying Gravity while letting emotions fill me up, topple over, bring me down, and lift me up again.

I found me again. I hadn’t even realized I had lost myself until kerplunk, kerpleuy…I’m sitting in a hot bed of emotion realizing all I let slide, disappear, disintegrate over the past year. Seeing how “corporate” I’ve become in an attempt to convince myself that I did belong.

The week before Easter I found myself holed up in the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health participating in the most intense training I’ve done in a while. A training that is indescribable, but I’ll do my best.

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Imagine the most intense therapy session (or heart-to-heart for those who’ve never sat on ‘the couch’) you’ve ever had. Now multiply that by eight hours. And do it three days in a row.

That was the Sexual Attitude Reassessment (SAR). Three days of being gently and lovingly pushed to feel into our bodies, to confront our own biases and demons, and to question and push everything we thought we knew about sex and sexuality. On one hand it was three days of hell. There wasn’t anything pretty about it. There were tears and fear and rage and confusion and disgust. There was also truth and light and freedom and arousal and community. On the other hand those three days reminded me of who am I, of the community I’m a part of, and of the values I hold most dear.

I returned to Baltimore on a high. At times, I was inappropriate (three days of absolutely NO filter is hard to come down from). But 100% of the time I was me.

I am valuable. I am enough.

For those who’ve been following along, you know this year has been a tough one. And the SAR opened my eyes to the fact that I shoved so much of my me-ness under the covers. Because I wasn’t at the right place for sex ed. Because I was told repeatedly that my interests weren’t public health issues. Because classmates shot me dirty or annoyed looks when I said something typically Kait-like or spoke too loudly or made too big of an entrance. Because Hopkins never ceases to remind you that you are among the best of the best…and how are you going to prove it? (Answer…publish and go abroad and put your name on shit)

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So I dimmed my light, my Kait-ness. I questioned saying and doing and writing things that 12 months ago I wouldn’t have hesitated to do. Some would call this growth or maturation. (The PC part of me wants to write…’in some ways it was growth’) But if that’s what it is, then I want none of it. I want to have safe spaces to talk about anything and everything, from the controversial to the kind of gross to the plain sexy. I want to say the word vulva. loudly. on TV. (Side note: even the ‘Cunt’ skit from Vagina Monologues was cut ridiculously short…) And you know what, I want to make an entrance dammit!

Because that is me. I’m full of life and spirit and energy and passion and sometimes I burn the candle at both ends. But I shine brightly, and often Jon a way that differs greatly from the “typical” Hopkins student. I have no publications and quite frankly could give a rat’s ass about research (beyond reading it to inform my work and interests). I have practically no interest in working in developing countries and I don’t want to focus only on marginalized populations in the US. I want to be on the ground DOING public health…the one being analyzed and monitored and evaluated. I want to work with people, not numbers (ever).

Even now I’m terrified to hit publish. I’m worried others will think this is a judgment of them when in reality it is an expression of my lived experience over the last year. And I’m worried too that judgment will rain down on me for not being Hopkins-y enough…for not fitting the mold and for not being compassionate enough or worldly enough.

But I’m going to…because these past ten days have reminded me that I have nothing to prove and nothing to be ashamed of. In the span of a year, I have managed to grow from a girl who likes to talk about sex and sell sex toys and kind of knows her direction in life into a full-fledged sex educator who gets paid consulting gigs, has a weekly column, and is listed among sex ed idols superstars like Megan Andelloux, Tristan Taormino, and Erika Lust. I’ve gained the respect of others. More importantly, in the past few weeks I’ve started to feel proud of myself for the first time in far too long.

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This is who I am. Proud sex geek and sex educator and yes, sex toy lady. I am me and I can’t be anyone else. And I’m meant to shine brightly and that’s what I intend to do for the rest of the year and beyond. Because I”m happiest being myself…and looking back, my best times at Hopkins have been when I wasn’t questioning or doubting. I was just being 100% unapologetically, me.

So hello again world. My name is Kait. I like to write, learn, and talk about sex and vulvas and penises and orgasm. I’m pretty damn good at doing so too. So good in fact, that I’m building a career out of doing it! I have a thriving Passion Parties business and I teach Zumba for my body and my soul. Expect me to be late for things but be proud when I’m not. Know that you’ll always have great food when you’re with me because I rock at picking out restaurants and I’m a great cook too. I’m also the perfect size for most hugs since more likely than not you’ll be able to rest your chin right on my head. In other words I’m 100% unique, I defy gravity, and, you know what, I kind of rock.

Yoga/beauty/authenticity,

Kait xo

Updates Galore!

Before I share with you some juicy updates, I want to take a moment to honor this day.

You see a year ago today I came home from Sara’s yoga class.  It was an average Wednesday…until it wasn’t anymore.  A big ol’ envelope from Johns Hopkins University was waiting for me…my acceptance letter to a program I didn’t even remembered applying to.

And just like that, everything changed.

I don’t want to get too caught up in the past but I couldn’t let this day pass without honoring its significance to my journey.  Instead, I’ll share one of my favorite posts, written at the end of this week, last year.  And I’ll briefly talk about the difference a year makes.

Without Hopkins…I’d still be in a job that no longer served me (nor I, it).

Without the stress of this program… acknowledging my issues with food would have been delayed indefinitely.  <–insert PH joke about the counterfactual

Without my new colleagues and classmates…I’d still be questioning whether this sexual pleasure thing matters, hiding my shape in ill-fitting clothes, oblivious to so many facts of the world, and doing/believing countless other falsities.

Few things about the last 8 months has been easy.  I’ve felt crushing loneliness + isolation and fought demons that often paralyzed me.  Regardless, I’m still so ridiculously grateful for that Wednesday last year.  Because alongside those dark moments have been opportunities that may not otherwise have come, learning moments that I doubt I could have had anywhere else, and friends I never would have met.  So for all the dark moments, there were also light ones.  And hopefully I can continue to focus on those as I continue to heal myself.

I’ll wrap this up by saying thank you again…for coming with me every step of the way and for sharing every victory and every dark moment.

Now onto those updates…

Blog Updates

Check out my new and improved (and yes, updated) About Me and Passion by Kait pages.  The blogroll is next.

Business Updates

Though the main focus of this blog isn’t sex, writing about it is a huge part of my life.  So since ya’ll like my writing and some of you undoubtedly want to learn more, here are the latest places to find my writing:

  1. The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health
  2. Get Lusty for Couples
  3. PbK Newsletter 

And of course there’s my YouTube channel if you’d rather hear me talk about sex (with the occasional dance video tossed in there) rather than read about it.

Health Updates

Since much of last year’s hardship dealt with my wrists, I figured I’d let you know.  As expected, I’m still not at the level I was before my injury.  But some days I can flow through an entire yoga class without modifying.  That alone is huge and a point I wasn’t sure I’d get to ever again.  If anything, I’ve learned to listen to my body and scale back when I need to.  I definitely need to continue building strength + stability (something that was severely hindered by my foot injury in the fall) but I’m mostly happy with where I am today.

That’s all for now.  I’m not sure I’ll post again this week as I have some huge assignments due but there is definitely a giveaway scheduled for next week so be sure to check back then.

Yoga/beauty/life,

Kait xo

Wednesday Revelations: Into My Greatness

Don’t forget to enter Monday’s giveaway!  I received my new box and let’s just say there is now even more chocolate.  YUM.

Today I’m writing to you from a place of stress + excitement.  Just like pain and pleasure, these emotions are two sides of the same coin.  Wouldn’t you agree?

You see over the past few weeks I’ve started to re-realize my own greatness.  (My Gremlin wants to apologize for coming off as haughty; my Inner Pilot Light wants you to know that it is OK to own your accomplishments).

As some of you may have picked up through here and Facebook, I’ve been going through some dark and stormy places lately.  I’ve been feeling listless and lost, down and out, scared and hopeless.  You see I realized a couple weeks ago that the path I’m currently on…to create a sex-positive culture within the healthcare field…is whoa huge.  I mean…this is my task…I’ve never been more sure of it, but its darn scary to know that I’m embarking on something that hasn’t been done before.

A few weeks ago I totally freaked out…in hindsight I’m realizing it was an upper limit problem.  As in…I got spooked by my own greatness, by knowing that this journey I’m embarking on is huge and it could change the lives of the millions of women who are diagnosed with cancer every year.  I questioned friendships, I hid away in my apartment (perks of living on the outskirts of the city, no?), and I avoided hanging out with people.  This spiraled into all sorts of loneliness and angst…and then I went home for Thanksgiving.

I got grounded and centered just by being around my loved ones.  I came back refreshed and more passionate, more certain, more ready.  And this week I started being excited again…realizing that I have the potential to help millions of cancer survivors and thrivers live more pleasurable lives…that I can make a lasting and impacting difference through a combination of healing + teaching.   I can’t help but smile even as I write this when I think about all the possibility ahead of me.

Yes there will be obstacles…but there will also be triumphs.

I’ve known for some time that I am headed for greatness.   Lissa first opened my eyes to this, and I will never forget her telling me how she has created the amazing life she has essentially from nothing.  Hillary helped me to see beyond the limits of my imagination, she saw the could will-be’s and the bigger picture.  The one where I am leading tele-jams and webinars, doing speaking engagements, and making Passion by Kait something bigger than I ever dreamt of.

And though the growth hasn’t happened at the rate I had hoped, though at times it felt like my business was slipping away from me and it wasn’t worth it, I know that every step I’ve taken, and all those I will take, are moving me in the right direction of my destiny.  Because slowly but surely I’m doing those things I want…this past Saturday I had my first presentation (the Gremlin wants you to know its “just” a co-presentation and my co-presenter created most of it but my Inner Pilot Light is shushing him like a good Italian grandma and is already preparing to shout it from the rooftops and make a feast fit for a queen because wouldn’t you know I contributed significantly and it is my presence and my passion and the empowering impression I leave that brought the opportunity to me and that alone is something to sing about).  Over the January term I will be designing a sex education curriculum for fifth graders and potentially teaching part of the sex ed module for a local high school.

And all I had to do was be myself…send an e-mail or two…and trust in the Universe.  (Ok so that last part isn’t always easy…)

And now all I have to do is keep taking these steps, keep being true to myself, and keep working through the dark & stormy when it comes up.  Because undoubtedly it will…and undoubtedly I will get through it to emerge stronger, wiser, and with opportunities abounding. 

What great things are going on in your life lately?

Yoga/beauty/this crazy life,

Kait xo

2nd Week of Passion – Notes on Being a DIVA

Happy Friday!  I wanted to kick off your weekend (and mine) with a big dose of inspiration.

But first, I want to define the word “DIVA” as we Passion DIVAs use it.  The word diva <–note, all lower-case tends to have a pretty negative connotation.  But within Passion by Kait, its a positive thing.  You want to be a DIVA.  See:

Disciplined
Inspired
Vibrant
Accomplished

🙂

Now that we got that out of the way…I want to share with you some of my favorite quotes from Passion Power 2012.  Some are about passion, some are about business, and all, at the end of the day, are about life.

I hope you are as inspired by these as I was.

On Passion Parties’ Mission, Values, and Purpose

“We know we can talk sex and intimacy without getting nasty.”

“We have always been about loving relationships.”

“We’re passionate, sexy women who help other women find their sexy.”

“A Passion DIVA is a women of influence.”  <– that’s me! 

“We’re the bible belt of the adult industry.  We don’t sell porn and we’re classy not trashy.”

“God and sex aren’t mutually exclusive.”

“[Our parties help]  make relationships stronger, keep couples together, and prevent divorce.”

Business and Sales Lessons

“We create interest in things we enjoy all the time.”

“Don’t forget your enthusiasm!”

“The only person who can turn that box into a business is you.  The only person who can stop [that…] is you.”

“Show products because you love to show them (and you love them).”

“Don’t underestimate the value of your business.”

“You have two ears and one mouth.”

Life Lessons

“Awakening the Passion Diva within is about awakening the empowered women.”

“Monogamy does not have to be monotonous.”  <–‘passionate monogamy’

“When women are happy, loved, and fulfilled […] the world is a better place.”

“When you quit growing[…] it’s over.”

“How you grow is as important as the growth itself.”

“Sexual persuasion is of no relevance.”

“You have the choice to decide not to hold on to the baggage and more and break free.”

“Live a free life.”

These are what being a DIVA is all about.  Embracing your true self, living life to its fullest, and owning and appreciating your value as a human being unlike any other.  This weekend, I challenge you to let your DIVA shine.  Just do it once..for a little bit.  Let her come through, as uncomfortable as it may be, and change the world around you.

You never know what might happen…

Yoga/beauty/passion,

Kait xo

 

2nd Week of Passion: Passion Power 2012

This was scheduled to go up yesterday but I had some tech errors. Therefore, the 2nd Week of Passion will officially continue through next Tuesday. 🙂

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Welcome to another Week of Passion here on y/b/l! This past weekend found me in Piscataway, NJ for Passion Parties’ annual summer conference and I am super excited to share my experiences with you. 🙂

Two years ago when I attended Passion Power, it was my first corporate event. It also was my first real training experience…and it kicked my biz into high gear. Followed by our annual Convention only six months later, Passion Power taught me how far I could go in this business if I wanted it badly enough, worked hard, and believe in myself.

My business and my bank account thanked me. Last year I didn’t make it and though I don’t regret my decision, I did miss the valuable training and visit experience.

This year, going just felt like the right thing to do.Despite transportation snafus, dealing with disappointment, and having my-dress-I-haven’t-fit-into-in-three-years lose its zipper, the weekend was just what I needed.

A time to bond with my Passion Sisters. A time to remember why I joined this business in the first place. A time to reconnect with my passion and remember that through this “job” I truly am changing people’s lives.

I arrived Friday evening after a rather long day of travel and checked into the suite. They had the cutest little towel art and it reminded me of going on cruises when I was younger (fun fact: I met the beau on one of these cruises!).

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It was close to 11 and I hadn’t eaten dinner so I hit up the hotel bar for some edamame, conversation, and the perfectly sweet ending to an otherwise stress-filled day.

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My roommates arrived and we stayed up far too late talking and catching up. It had been several years since I had last seen Amanda so there was a lot I catch up on!

Saturday and Sunday we spent learning from leaders in the company. My favorite session was titled, “Get Out of Your Own Way.” <;–no shock there, right? We also had sessions in selling and follow-up, a mock party presentation, an several panel Q&A sessions. I have a quotes post coming up later in the week but I want to share one with you now.

“Bless and release.”

This was a major theme for the weekend and it was a huge ‘aha’ moment for many of us. How many times do we hold on to something that is no longer serving us, in business AND in life? It’s so easy to stick with what’s comfortable (aka regret, grudges, etc) but sometimes we just need to let it go! The whole weekend was a wonderful reminder of that.

Saturday night was our mini awards night that mimics Convention’s bigger dinners. Despite my wardrobe malfunction and the fact that the hotel hadn’t prepared food for those of us who abstain from flesh and dairy, it was a wonderful evening full of Success Speeches, good conversations.

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The pasta dish the kitchen put together for those of us non-flesh eaters.

The most exciting part was that I got to walk for the first time! I was recognized for my sales achievements (>;$15000) between January and June. Corporate is so good about recognizing our achievements an it’s been a goal of mine to walk the stage for the past two years.

Yes it felt as awesome as I had imagined!

;

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Being silly after walking the stage! 🙂

Sunday afternoon was bittersweet, as the end of a good experience always is. My upline (my sponsor’s sponsor), one of my direct Passion Sisters, and I snapped some fun photos to remember the weekend’s (and our) amazing-ness. 🙂

<;3 these ladies

Check back Friday for a passionate, quote-filled post. Until then…

Yoga/beauty/passion,

Kait xo

Unconventional Eating

Update: I have power!  It came back on sometime during the afternoon on Tuesday.  Thank you for all your well wishes + concern.  xo

I can’t remember the last time I wrote about food!  Sunday’s last minute trip to Giant (aka Stop & Shop for all my New Englanders) inspired me and explained something I had been struggling to properly answer for a long time.

At the time when I wrote this (Sunday night), my power was still out.  So was Whole Foods’.  For those who know me, this is practically a tragedy in and of itself.  I did a big haul at Wegmans on Saturday but only bought non-perishables (lara bars, trail mix, canned beans, tomatoes, etc).  Since ended up having access to a fridge and a blender (yay!), I figured I’d pick up some green smoothie + salad ingredients for around $10.

My grocery list:

  • romaine hearts
  • spinach
  • celery
  • 1 avocado
  • yogi detox tea (coupon)
  • non-dairy milk (coupon)

Given that Trader’s was at least a half hour away from the cousins’, I figured I would suck it up and head to the Giant that is right up the road.  I figured the prices wouldn’t be that bad and since the beau had given me some extra $ to shop with (since, you know, I had no power and we assumed I’d be eating out a bit), I figured it wouldn’t matter if it cost a bit more.

I bought everything on that list plus a box of Anna’s Chocolate Thin Mint cookies (accidentally vegan and only $2.49).  I used $2 worth of coupons and the total came to…$20.20.

WTH?

$14 of that was the produce.  Yes $14 for organic romaine hearts, organic spinach, organic celery hearts, and one lonely avocado.  I was shocked.  Then angry.  Then it all clicked.

Now I understand why people think eating healthy is so expensive!  Add “organic” or “veg” into the mix and BOOM!  It makes sense…if you shop at a place like Giant.  The vegan cookies were all at least $4 a box.  The nondairy milk was at least $0.75 more than I can purchase it for at Wegmans or Target or Walmart.  I can see why I hear, “Well isn’t that expensive?” equally as often as, “Where do you get your protein?”

Fact of the matter is, “conventional” grocery stores are set up for “conventional eaters” (aka those on the Standard American Diet).

And we all know I am far from a conventional eater.  I like whole foods.  I like plant-based foods.  I like artificial-crap-free junk food.  I love foods made with only the necessary ingredients (like water, yeast, and flour for bread).  Etc.  Whole Foods and Traders and Wegmans are my meccas (true story: to cheer myself up after bidding the beau farewell, I went to Wegmans…I have no shame admitting this).  Until Sunday, though, I didn’t realize why these places mean so much to me: they are geared towards me and my tribe.  They “get” us unconventional eaters.  And because all of the products in the store are geared towards us, the prices are lower (because the product moves more quickly).

Wegmans, the closest of my three meccas to a regular grocery store, has a saying: “Food shopping will never be the same.”  And it hasn’t been because they’ve found a way to draw in, to appeal to, both conventional and unconventional eaters while keeping prices competitive.  Unlike Giant…or Stop & Shop…or Big Y.  Or anywhere else really.

Now I know…the next time someone asks me, “How I do it?” or “Isn’t that so expensive?” I’ll let them know…not if you go to the right places.

Yoga/beauty/life,

Kait xo

First Meals: Baltimore

Some of you may have seen my hastily posted Move Recap.  I actually wrote that as a final “assignment” for my coaching program.  It was the best possible outcome for the move and let me tell you: it basically worked!  Long story short: we hit practically no traffic, made it down here in 6.5 hours with at least 1 hour of that in stops (picking up my coffee table on the other side of CT, gas fill ups, food breaks, etc).  We had everything moved in in a couple hours and with the exception of Verizon screwing up (which actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise…more on that in a minute) my internet order, everything went ridiculously smoothly. 🙂  It basically rocked.

Four days later and I’m almost settled.  The past couple of days have been a flurry of errands…running around to return that, pick up that, replace that, etc.  I managed to get a couch + some chairs for the exact amount I wanted to pay for my couch (win!) and have basically furnished my entire apt for around $500.  Again, I can’t complain!  🙂

Of course we’ve had to check out the local cuisine as well and for the most part I’ve been impressed.  The first night mom, the beau and I grabbed a quick bite at Mimi’s, a local Mediterranean food place that does everything from burgers to pizza to falafel (yea…you know the type of place I’m talking about).  There were definitely some options on there I’ve never seen before (an Egyptian version of hummus that was outstanding) and though it wasn’t the most outstanding food, I’m glad there’s such a veg-friendly place within walking distance.

The next night we planned on going out to a nice dinner to celebrate.  We ended up at a new Mount Washington establishment called Blue Sage Cafe & Wine Bar.  They are a fairly new restaurant that opened in Mount Washington Village, the little downtown area in my neighborhood, that specializes in freshly-made foods + craft brews, high quality wines, and specialty cocktails.

First we got dressed up…

Next we decided what we wanted to eat…

Note the vegetarian section… 🙂

Then we toasted with our amazing cocktails…

Cucumber sangria…it tasted like a green smoothie with wine in it. #win

And finally we enjoyed our delicious meals!

Portobello fries…seriously they tasted like chicken wings.  SO good.

Gnocchi with asparagus and spinach in a white wine sauce.

Beau’s pizza with olives, tomatoes, spinach, and feta.

All in all our evening was wonderful.  The service was rather slow but the food was amazing.  For some reason the pictures on my iPhone came out no better than the ones on my old phone but oh well…I’m still learning how to use the darn thing!

The next morning we dropped mom off to catch her train home and headed into downtown Bmore to get some brunch.  We ended up at the City Cafe which was less of a hit with me.  The food was delicious but they were not good about substitutions or accommodating food needs.  I must say, it is a huge pet peeve when places want to charge me to substitute veggies for meat.  Bertucci’s does it all the time (and its part of the reason I don’t eat there as often) and City Cafe wanted to do it as well.  There is no way a veggie burger costs more than country ham.  And if I decide to not get the country ham then yes, I do deserve a discount because it is significantly more expensive than the other items in the order.  *rant over*  On to the oh-so-delicious food…

My potato pancakes with apple chutney and scrambled eggs.

The beau’s breakfast burrito with scrambled eggs, green chili chickpeas, Monterrey jack cheese, guac + sour cream, and the most amazing potatoes ever.

For some reason, I was craving eggs that morning.  I can’t remember the last time that happened but I did indulge…and was absolutely positively stuffed to the point where I couldn’t finish my potato pancakes!  They were good but not delicious and I’m glad it was a small serving of them because in reality I did feel a bit weighted down (literally?  figuratively?  a little bit of both?).  I think my body was craving protein or some other nutrient in eggs because very rarely do I crave animal products (except cheese but as we all know, its meant to be addicting!) except when I’m craving something deeper.  Since their brunch menu wasn’t too veggie friendly (they had salads and a veggie burger on their lunch menu but I was still in bfast mode) I went with it.

All in all my first few dining experiences have been pretty wonderful.  The company also helps.  😉  I’m excited to continue exploring Bmore’s  food options and seeing where I can get good, fast, cheap vegan eats. All in good time my friends.  All in good time.

Apartment photos are forthcoming…there are still too many boxes around for that.  😉

Yoga/beauty/life,

Kait xo

Week of Passion – Final Thoughts

First of all, I just want to say a big giant happy HELLO to all the meals&moves bloggers who are popping over here after reading my guest post.

Secondly, our week of Passion, like all good things, is coming to an end.  😦  We’ve talked Chippendales, Tushies, Orgasms, Passion Pantry Staples, and more!  I’ve had so much fun doing this week and I definitely play on including more posts about Passion here on the blog.  After all, it is part of what brings beauty into my life.  <–yea you see what I did there?!  😉

Before we end, I wanted to share some final, personal thoughts about Passion.  On Wednesday evening I did the first of a series of 12 coaching calls with the ahmazing Hillary Rubin and a few of things came to clarity for me with regards to my Passion.

The thing is, to me Passion isn’t just about sex.  Yes sex is a huge part of it for many people and certainly when we consider its popular use.  But to those of us committed to its cause, Passion is about so so much more.

Its why this was a week of Passion and not a week of sex.  Its why I chose the term “Sensuality” rather than “Sexuality” to describe the type of education and coaching I do in my business.  Its why I’m pursuing an MPH in women’s and reproductive healthy and a PhD in sex therapy.

Passion is about coming into your body and fully experiencing the moment, the joy, and the bliss of using it in whatever way you consciously desire.  You can do this through sex; unfortunately, I’ve learned too many women do not.  <–why I know my skills are needed  You can also do this through dance, yoga, running, singing, painting…really any physical experience where you can 100% just let go and feel the pleasure of life and the moment you’re in course through each and every cell (thank you nitric oxide).

Passion, and its relative sensuality, look different for everyone.  But what they have in common is the resulting feeling of bliss.  One of the activities Hillary and I completed on last night’s call was to determine how I wanted to feel each day and what steps I could take to do so.  I don’t remember which feeling we were going over but at one point I started rhapsodizing about finding your way into “that” yoga pose (yogis and yoginis you totally know what I mean here).  I said something along the lines of the following:

“When you find your way into that pose…that one maybe you’ve been struggling to connect to or just don’t like.  And you are just totally out of your head and into your body and its just pure bliss and joy and there’s no just better feeling because you’re fully connected and engaged and in the moment…except an orgasm.  Yea add that to the list.  It’s just, mmm, the BEST feeling in the world.

That, ladies and gents, is Passion.  And this is mine.  Empowering others through sensuality education & coaching brings endless joy into my life.  Its my way of healing others.  I might not be a doctor (now or ever…we’ll see!) but the changes I can help others invite into their relationships, well those can be just as lifesaving.  Because our physical bodies aren’t just a collection of numbers (weight, height, blood pressure, cholesterol, iron level, etc, etc, etc) but rather highly complex, energetic beings that require so much more than food + water + shelter (sorry Maslow) to live in our optimum state.  We need laughter and love and Passion and something to fight for<–And at the end of the day, aren’t those really all the same things?

You might have absolutely loved the departure from the norm I took this week.  Or it might not have been your cup of tea at all.  Regardless, I hope you felt my pure enthusiasm and joy and, yes, Passion, stream through each and every word.  And if you take nothing else away from this week…if this is the first and last post you ever read here…take this: find your Passion, commit to it, practice it often, and shout it shamelessly from the rooftops.

Its yours to own and no one else’s.  You think my smile would be this big otherwise?

Gratitude/love/passion,

Kait xo

Week of Passion – Giveaway + Guest Post

Today is a super exciting day.  Well…since you asked…my Week of Passion is taking over the interwebs!  Not only am I hosting my first ever giveaway both here and on Facebook but also because the lovely Janetha is featuring my sexy tips as the first post in her new Three Tips Thursday series.  Make sure to head on over to Meals & Moves for more of that sweet goodness.  East-coasters – Janetha is in Utah so her posts tend to come later in our day.  Check back tonight/tomorrow if you can’t find it.

Welcome to the first ever Y/B/L giveaway!  Technically this is a giveaway on my Facebook page but I figured since we’re celebrating Passion here, I’d share the love!

This giveaway is for a Passion Pantry must-have.  It makes play-time (solo or with a partner) both safer and way more fun!  By decreasing friction and heightening sensation, this product lets you feel into your body like never before.  Because it is water-based, it is condom-friendly, non-staining, and easily reactivated.  <–think a little lick…or using a bit of water if you prefer  Because it was created by Passion Parties, its also long-lasting, non-sticky, and sure to bring you pleasure.

Passion Parties RomantaTherapy Revelation Lubricant (sorry for the crappy picture)

Rules of the Giveaway

  1. To enter, simply leave a comment on my Facebook page or here regarding one topic you’d like me to explore in more depth here.  It can be anything, but I’d especially love suggestions about women’s and/or sexual health/issues/etc.
  2. You must “Like” Passion by Kait to be eligible.
  3. Winner will be chosen using a random numbers generator after collapsing all comments into one thread.  #nerd

The giveaway closes next Wednesday, March 28 at 12am EST.  Just to be different from all those giveaways that end at 11:59 pm. 😉

Yoga/beauty/passion,

Kait xo

P.S. Project: Food Budget will be back next week!